So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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