never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize