so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
did you just send me my own nude
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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