i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She is in my trunk
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
