physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he was CRYING into my vagina
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So here I am, sexting at work.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
