I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
do herpes really smell.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
