AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
this beer tastes like vomit already
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
