but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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