It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize