What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
