My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
