you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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