I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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