i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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