So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
