she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
