Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
