The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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