Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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