have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
