My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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