its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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