called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
