Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
