Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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