So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
