So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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