At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
