I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
