Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
