Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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