walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
