dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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