Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
