I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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