i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
