so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
