I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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