This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
