Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
