omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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