yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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