i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
