U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
