Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
