I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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