You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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