Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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