the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
