Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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