he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize