i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
the liver wants what the liver wants
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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