I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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