The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize