airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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