thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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