If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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