I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
