ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
