please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
