My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
