Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
