Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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