i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
