It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize