She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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