so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just googled if crying burns calories
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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