my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
