Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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