I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize