guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
