Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
