how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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